Natrualbeauty
Junior Member
Posts: 21
Registered: 01-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-13-2006 at 00:30 |
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What's a girl to do??
I am virgin and have been dating my boyfriend for 2years now he is not a virgin.But he respects that I am one. I want to do it so bad we have messed around on the touchin feelin level.It has even got to the point were we had gotten undress.But I was so scared that I backed out of it.I have let him brused his privates against mine but not enter me.I think that if we don't do it soon he might stop waitin and get it somewhere else?? I'm really scared of the pain because my friends has told me about it .But he promises that he will take his time.I can tell that he is lookin forward to that day when I will give him all of me.But if it want be soon I think he will begin to have sex with someone else PLEASE HELP
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rabbit22921
Junior Member
Posts: 10
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-13-2006 at 23:02 |
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dont hurry
dont hurry when it come to sex i dont know your age but there is no rush thats one way to find out what the guys about lots more to life than sex plus much better when you are ready be comfetable and you will like it much more here is ob gyn tip candels and condoms start small and work up lot less pain on your firs time u take control body is ready almost no pain
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Natrualbeauty
Junior Member
Posts: 21
Registered: 01-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-14-2006 at 02:50 |
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I am not in a Hurry
I am 19 years old. I can't enter no candle inside of my body.I might as well let my boyfriend enter his private in me.I am not really scared to let him have my virginity.It is just when it comes down to it I just tell him to wait because I have second thoughts.I am not scared because I know if I was I wouldn't let him undress me.I understand that the candle might give me some kind of idea of how the pain might feel I just rather try the real thing because I don't know the seize of his penis to know what seize candle to use LOL
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rabbit22921
Junior Member
Posts: 10
Registered: 01-13-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-14-2006 at 09:22 |
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good
im glad to hear u are in no hurry when it time it will happen just make sure your ready and no the first time for most is not fun most guys dont take time as for candles start small and work up to about a 2 inch thats about average and they dont stay big what is a myth hope goes well and love to help if i can give u a guys point of view
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-19-2006 at 20:39 |
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second thoughts
If you are having second thoughts then don't do it. Don't let him make the choice for you. If he can't wait, let him go. otherwise, you may be sorry later on. You can never be sure about some guys intentions. I've known several guys who put up the guise of being a perfect patient boyfriend but behind their girlfriend's back its a totally different story.
Basically, those second thoughts may be you trying to tell yourself your not ready or you never know it could be some higher power telling you that this is not the right guy.
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Natrualbeauty
Junior Member
Posts: 21
Registered: 01-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-20-2006 at 01:17 |
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But I'm ready
I know he's not makin the decision for me.I know I am ready.I'm not having second thoughts (maybe I am having second thoughts).But I just want to give him all of me mind,body,and soul.We tried it again last night but I didn't go through with it because as soon as he started to enter me I just told him to stop I don't think I'm ready.He kept tring to get me to go through with it but I was just scared.I think I'm scared of the pain because my friends has told me how bad it will hurt.I want to do it so bad but I'm debating.I know he would be gentle but I'm still scared.Maybe he's not the right person.But he waited this long I think he deserve it(to be my first)and I love him.I wouldn't want my first to be with no one else.I'm just confuse!!!!But I know losing my virginity is going to happen soon because every time we get a long we start messing around and I know one time I'm not going to stop him.I'M REALLY CONFUSE CAN SOMEONE HELP BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW??????
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-20-2006 at 04:32 |
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confused
I'm sorry but I don't think anyone but you can decide if this is the right guy and time for you. However, be careful. Its not a good sign that he is preassuring you. That really worries me. It seems like he may not have your best intentions in mind. I don't mean to sound preachy but this is a very big deal with big consequences. He may have waited 2 years but you have waited 19 years for this. This is a once in a lifetime decision and you can never go back. I'm sure that you do love him but it would hurt less to loose him now than it would if you gave him such a special gift. I'm just not sure your as ready as you think you are. Otherwise you wouldn't have any second thoughts. It sounds like you may just need to step back and think this through a little. If he truly loves you and doesn't want to hurt you he should be able to overcome his hormones enough to give you the time you need. I don't mean to deter you if this is truly what you want but I would hate to see you be hurt by this later in your life. I'm a guy. I know how truly distugusting we can be and I hate to see any woman be hurt by that.
I hate to give advice like this but if you decide to go through with it here goes. If you are just afraid of the pain here are a few things I've read about in the past that can help you through it.
1. Get into the moment. Let him get you good and aroused. This will give your body a chance to lubricate itself. This is the best way to reduce the pain of the first time.
2. Use some "lube". This can help reduce irritation experienced from the rubbing and may make the act more pleasurable for the both of you. Something like KY or the equivalent should work but I've heard not to use the warming stuff for your first time.
3. Relax. There are muscles down there that can tense and if they are it can make the experience more painful and can even make penetration impossible. This is probably why it was so painful for your friend. Let him mess around some down there until you feel comfortable enough to start. Maybe even let him insert a finger to help you get used to the feeling. Don't worry. Barring a rare medical condition a finger probably won't hurt much if at all and should not cause a tear in your hymen if he is gentle.
4. Make sur you're in a position that gives you more control. This will give you a chance to pull away if it does hurt. You being on top will give the most control but will also be harder for you to manuever and may lead to some muscle tensening as mentioned above. I've read that the "doggy style" position is probably one of the best as it gives you a more relaxed position but still gives you a chance to pull away. there's many more recommended positions but I cant remember them right now. This will give you more power over the cituation and hopefully allow you to relax more.
It is unclear if you have really explored yourself down there. If you haven't then this should be your first step. You will have to get comfortable with yourself before you can get comfortable with someone else. Also, every woman's body is different. so even if it was painful for your friend it may not be the same for you. I'm not going to lie. Everything I've read says that there will be some discomfort on your first time, but take your time and try some of the things I've mentioned and it should be a more pleasurable experience for you.
Anyway, I hope that this helps you.
Good luck. Whatever your decision.
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Natrualbeauty
Junior Member
Posts: 21
Registered: 01-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-21-2006 at 01:25 |
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Thanks for advice but I'm still a little confuse!
I will take everything into consideration that I learned off of this site.But I'm still a little confuse about my decision.I just want to do whats best for me and him. I know he loves me and I love him it's just hard dealing with this decision when everyone around you is having sex.It kind of makes you feel left out.Like you are missing some thing.I have my own mind so nobody could never make me do anything I don't know but when everyone is talking about their sex life it just make me want to do it even more.I just love him so much and think that I should give him all of me.I don't think that he would actually go and have sex with someone else but it's possible if I keep playing with him(not going through with it when we are already undress).I don't know I'm still cofuse about this I just want to have sex and get it over and done with.
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-21-2006 at 02:55 |
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still confused
I understand. Still being a virgin can be lonesome at times. The people I'm around most of the time talk about sex alot too. However, your difference makes you special. You may not know it but some people may even be jealous. Alot of women and even some men feel regret about their first time.
I'm sorry if I made it seem like I thought you didn't have a mind to decide for yourself. Thats not what I meant at all. It just seemed like you were forgetting about yourself. This is a decision about you and your body. Never forget that.
Its just my opinion but it takes a very special man to make your first time special. A man that truly cares about you and understands why it is hard for you.
This should be a very special time for you. Make sur it turns out that way.
I wish that I could give you a definite yes or no answer to make this easier for you but I can't. No one can but you. It will likely take some serious soul searching on your part.
Just make sure that the decision is for you and no one else.
Once again good luck and I wish you all the happiness in he world in your decision.
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Natrualbeauty
Junior Member
Posts: 21
Registered: 01-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-22-2006 at 13:04 |
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22yearoldguyvirgin
Thanks for opinion it really helped.I'm still deciding what I'm going to do.Me and my boyfriend decided to just talk on the phone for a while until I decide what I want to do.Because every time me and him get together its seem to get a little to hot and steamy.He said he don't want to seem like he is making this decision for me so we should not be alone together for a while.He said that he wants to make love to me bad and I know I feel the same way.These couple of days apart will play a role in my decision.I know I'm ready but I'm just scared as hell.He promise he would gentle and he wouldn't hurt me on purpose.I know he isn't lying about any of it.But I have time to really think this through so thanks.I'll keep you posted on my decision
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-23-2006 at 23:02 |
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good for you
Im glad to hear that you decided to take a little time for yourself. Hopefully you'll be able to get through your fears and whats behind them. Until you do that your not really ready to take such a big step in your life/relationship.
Any time that you need to talk Im glad to listen and I will try any way I can to help.
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Natrualbeauty
Junior Member
Posts: 21
Registered: 01-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-27-2006 at 20:53 |
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Here's how it happen
Me and my boyfriend sort of tried an have sex last night.Oh my god I can't believe it hurted so bad that I couldn't go through with it.It was cool we did foreplay and every thing.He said he was not all the way in but it felt like it that shit hurted like hell.I'm not doing that any more he kept trying to get me to do it again but I couldn't.He was kind of mad that he didn't enter me all the way.Because he said that it was a waste of time I shouldn't started if I wasn't gone finish.I know now that I shouldn't tried it in the first place.He knew it was my first time why would he be mad?Am I still a virgin?I didn't bleed or anything, he was barely in me.I need someone to talk to.I'm sad a little.He called we talked but it was just about when am I going to go through with the whole thing.I told him I wasn't thinking about doing it too soon.He seem like he was cool about the situation but I know he wasn't.Should I just go through with it ??I don't want to loose him over this.
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 01-27-2006 at 22:17 |
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Im sorry
Im sorry that your first time was so painful. Basically if he entered you at all your not considered a virgin anymore. Your hymen may still be intact though. The only way you can really help reduce the pain is to stretch the tissues down there. The candle thing rabbit mentioned earlier is one way to do that. This can also help you learn what angle is most comfortable for you. You see Ive heard the angle of entry can sometimes cause a great deal of pain if a man is not careful. You could keep trying with your boyfriend but hes going to have to be slow and understanding about it. Don't worry. Ive heard that the first time is always the hardest. Every time after that should get a little easier.
Im so sorry about the way that your boyfriend has acted. You seem like a nice person and I hate for you to go through that.
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Natrualbeauty
Junior Member
Posts: 21
Registered: 01-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-08-2006 at 00:54 |
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Stressed out
My boyfriend gave me oral sex the other day.I didn't like it.I told him not to do it.He said he did to show how much he loved me I told him that I know he loved me It was his first time ever doing that.I told my best friend what he did she said that I should have enjoyed it.I really wish he wouldn't have done it now I don't want to kiss him.Is that normal?While he was giving me oral sex I was crying almost through the whole thing because I really didn't want him to do that.We haven't even got past the basic I'm not really all into that oral stuff yet I think it's nasty.My mom think that we are having sex I tell her no I just don't know how to talk to her about all this.Me and him talked on the phone he told me his friends said that he is crazy if he wasn't having sex yet with me.Everyone think we is having a great sex life because we spend weekends to gether over his house but we don't have a sex life yet I think the whole reason for him going down on me was to see if I would go through wit the sex situation with him I just wish he understand my side to all of this he act like he do but I know he don't.I really wish sex was not I big issue.I just think I should just get this over and done with because I'm stressing myself out.I just can't believe this is a big deal like it is.Every day someone is talking about sex or their sex life when me and my boyfriend is around he looks at me likes it's my fault that we can't relate to what they are talking about.It's getting so that I don't want to spend nights over his house any more because thats all that come up is sex I just don't feel like arguing with him about it and why I don't want to do it.I love him so much I just wish this wouldn't have been what's about to ruin our relationship.Because I know he not gon keep waiting for me.I made up my mind I'm going to go through with it tomorrow I'll tell him in the morning
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20yearsavi
Junior Member
Posts: 19
Registered: 02-06-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-08-2006 at 20:38 |
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wait one minute
It seems to me that after you first tried it, your b/f's mind seemed to change. don't let anyone pressure you into this. I know that the first time is never that great, but it should be something that you'll never regret.
If your going to try it again, I would suggest putting a pillow under your butt to make entering easlyer.
I hope it works out for you and good luck.
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virginguy81
Member
Posts: 30
Registered: 01-21-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-12-2006 at 16:59 |
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?
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lonelyoregon
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 02-15-2006 Location: lonelyoregon@hotmail.com
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posted on 02-15-2006 at 02:27 |
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a
none of it matters in the end homegirl. no worries. were you gonna stay a virgin 4ever? (LOL) i hate me virginity and cant seem to rid mself of the ENGRAINED thoughts. the grass is never greener
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Natrualbeauty
Junior Member
Posts: 21
Registered: 01-12-2006 Location:
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posted on 02-28-2006 at 11:07 |
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SORRY
Sorry I haven't been on here in a while.Me and my boyfriend have been trying to work out our problem.First of all I lost my virginity.It didn't really hurt as much this time.I wasn't even scared.Every thing has been working out for the better.Having sex is cool it's just that he wants to have it to much.I lost virginity on Feb.14,We have had sex 6 times already once we did it twice that night.Do you think I should tell that I don't want to have sex as much as we do?I think he will be a little mad if I tell him that.I still feel a little nervous when we have sex I don't know why.I think I just got to get use to it.But our relationship has gotten better since we have been intimate.It just seem so different now.But other than that I'm happy.(I guess)
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22yearguyvirgin
Senior Member
Posts: 104
Registered: 01-18-2006 Location:
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posted on 03-02-2006 at 16:30 |
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Im sorry too
I've been on here a lot lately and didn't even realize you were back because of another string. Im so sorry. Anyway, if you want to slow it down some then yes you should let him know. Your body is your own. You should feel free to make whatever decision you want about it. I think that your boyfriend should understand.
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