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SpartyLion
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 12-17-2011 Location:
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posted on 12-17-2011 at 15:09 |
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Help
I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have three kids. We have had rough times in the past but we always have got through it in the past. Two weeks before Turkey day I got the “I love you but I am not in love with you speech”. I was hurt and at the time blindsided so I said that she should divorce me. I was just saying that because I thought she would never leave but much to my horror she filled. She took all the money out of our back accounts and put it in a friends safe when she filed. She moved out with the kids for the first week because I was constantly begging her to forgive me and trying to make it all go away. She filled something against me that prevents me from giving away money or hiding it and told the court that I told her I would hide all the money from her. I never said that and don’t know why she said that. She told me that I didn’t need a lawyer because we could just use hers to keep costs down. I did go get a lawyer because I was scared. I have been treating her like a queen and being nothing but super nice to her since the week she moved out and she moved home with the kids a week later. I have been reading the love dare and my wife’s midlife crisis for advice but they don’t seem to help. My wife gets very anger and screams at me if I do anything she feels is wrong. I have told her I don’t want this and been going to consoling for help because my parents are gone and I don’t have any brothers or sisters. My wife works one day a week and because she stays home to raise our kids I know that I will pay alimony. We have just now started discussing things and she is very consistent that she wants a divorce and her own place but maybe someday we will remarry. I have asked for a separation so she could think about this instead of divorce but she insists that she wants a divorce. She says that this is 100 percent my fault because I was not always close to her and whenever we were close I would drift away and not pay enough attention to her. I know that I have not always been the person I should have been but I never ever thought we would get divorced. I asked if she would take her old name if I let the kids change their last name to her maiden name because I don’t care about my name and she had a meltdown saying that I am horrible to make her think I wanted her not to have my last name. I was trying to be nice and didn’t understand her response. She brings up things I said wrong from over ten years ago and all I can do is say I am sorry. She took money from a student loan that I have and anytime I ask her about it she gets mad and tells me that I don’t trust her and that I am only concerned about money. She says we will be great friends because we will always be involved in each other’s lives because of our kids. I know this is true and will always respect her especially in front of the kids but I don’t want to be friends with her if she divorces me. She says she will be there to help me out when I need it but I don’t get why she would say that. She has a tremendous relationship with her mom who lives in town and we often fought about it because I always felt like her mom came first. Her mom always said she would be there for me even if Melissa and I separated because she loved me. Her mom has not called me and won’t take my calls. The one time I did talk to her she said my wife and are just aren’t compatible anymore and that we need a divorce to see if we will remarry later. Well I expect this because this is my wife’s mom. My wife says that she want me to have the kids as much as possible but that if I get them to much it will affect the child support she gets and she won’t have enough to live on. My wife also says that she will never take so much money that I can’t live on my own but one time during a text message fight she said if I pushed her she would take me for every cent I have. She said that she wants fixed alimony because she deserves what she is entitled to. I asked if she would take less alimony if she lived with another man or got married and she said no way that she was entitled to that money. I thought alimony was intended to provide her for additional income she needed to pay her bills and it was not like a settlement. She has a culinary degree and used to work full time but know she wants to work at the kids school and have summers off. I am lost because I have very few friends because I work very hard and my job and give the rest of my time to my family so I am kind of in a bad place now and don’t know what to do next. Last week I was going to go out with friends to the bar and my wife said that I was very good looking and to watch out for girls who say they are on the pill when they really are not. Why would she say that? I didnt plan on getting girls.
Thanks for listening
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