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MasonBurkhalter
Junior Member
Posts: 15
Registered: 08-20-2009 Location:
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posted on 09-24-2010 at 16:29 |
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How to do it the right way!
Hey everyone. I just wanted to fill everybody in on the secret to dating internationally the correct way. There is nothing wrong with keeping your options open and getting to know new cultures of women. There is a fine line however in doing this to find someone to eventually settle down with that is the perfect match for you, and doing this so that you can find a 20 year old arm trophy to make your friends jealous. If you are the latter of the fine line you should probably stop trying because your money will get taken and you will remain lonely.
With that being said, here it goes:
ADVICE WHEN JOINING AN AGENCY
There are many different ways you can go about finding a foreign bride. Different things work for different people but if you are considering joining an agency for introductions or tours here is a little advice that will prove to be very useful to you.
1.Always do your research on the company before joining their service: The biggest issue with most agencies are their legitimacy in this industry. It is extremely crucial to find out who provides the best service before you decide to travel. Make sure that you check the company out on the Better Business Bureau and other companies such as ripoffreport.com. This will give you a great idea as to the track record of success with any business your doing research on. Another way to get well informed on an IMA (International Marriage Agency) would be to check out the company in question’s testimonials or reference page. If the company you are researching has virtually no references or testimonials this most likely is a major reflection on the business practices performed by the agency you are checking out.
2. Be Realistic: Now that you know what agency you want to do business with there are many things you should start doing to prepare yourself for your future trip. First and foremost would be to write a list of everything your looking for in your future bride. BE REALISTIC! The average man that fails in this very diverse industry falls in “lust” not love. Make sure that your search criteria for women stays within about 20 years of your own age at the very most. The majority of the men who look into this make a huge mistake by dating women considerably younger than they are. Sometimes you may have success, but if you are an older man and your looking for a woman with a 20 age difference you have to be realistic of what her intentions might be at that point and you might also want to re-evaluate your own intentions as well. Ask yourself; are you looking to have a good time and that’s it, or do you want to actually find a meaningful relationship with a genuine, good hearted, marriage minded woman. Typically the age difference comes into play later on down the road after you have already invested much time, effort, and money into this. Don’t set yourself up for heartbreak a couple years down the road. Be realistic.
3.Figure out where you want to travel: The average of people who actually make the choice to travel with an IMA is miniscule. This is a good and bad thing. Its good because the approximate 3% of people who actually do go on a Singles Tour have a HUGE variety of potential marriage candidates when they get to the country their interested in. It is also a good thing because for the women the service is typically free if it’s coming from a legitimate IMA. What this means for you is that your opportunity of meeting as many women as you need to find what your looking for is much more doable. The negative aspect of this is that most men will never know what they are missing out on, and most of these women will spend years on an IMA site and may never get the opportunity to find a good husband. With this being said look at your schedule, plan a date that works best for you according to when tours are being held, and book a reservation. Now you can start thinking of WHEN you will be going and not IF. This is a huge step that separates the men who are serious from the men who are interested but will never go and will never know what they are missing.
4.Correspondence: Once you have figured out where you want to travel, go to the IMA website and start looking for women to write to within the area you will be visiting. Correspondence for some people is key. For others it isn’t necessary at all. Your letter or email to the woman should be genuine. You should mention your intentions of traveling to her country on a set date, and you should also include a picture of yourself. Try briefly mentioning a few things about yourself but don’t get into too much detail. Because most men don’t actually do a tour or personal introduction there are a multitude of men on the Internet that simply write women just to be pen pals. In the industry they are referred to as “Keyboard Romeos”. That being said, it is crucial that you stand out above the rest of the men who don’t even intend to meet these women as most of the women receive an exhausting amount of letters and emails. If you aren’t able to get any good quality correspondence going don’t worry, most people don’t start corresponding until after they have met a woman in person and know for a fact that they have good chemistry. A Singles Tour held by an IMA will get rid of a lot of guesswork as you will have the opportunity to date many women during your trip.
5.Keep your options open: One of the biggest mistakes that most men make on a Singles Tour is that they don’t keep their options open. When you meet that special someone and the sparks really fly it will be easy to forget about the Socials and other ways that you can meet more women, such as more personal introductions. Don’t let this happen to you. As amazing as your potential bride to be may seem, many men have dropped out of all of the activities provided for the duration of the tour so that they can exclusively date the girl they think might be THE ONE. If you do this you are opening yourself up to the possibility of it not working out and at that point you will have wasted your opportunity to really meet the right one. Always keep your options open. If you are upfront and honest about how serious you are with your search, most women will respect your decision.
6.Fiancée Visa: Once you have met the girl you want to invest more time and effort into dating exclusively you can choose to fill out a Fiancée Visa. Some men will start filling the K-1 Visa out by the end of their first trip. Others may want to get to know the woman more through correspondence before deciding to start doing the paperwork. Whichever way you go about doing it the choice is yours. Personally I feel that after you have met someone and have had the ability to get to know her pretty well your best bet would be to start corresponding with her exclusively for a while before you decide to go through all of the paperwork. If you have the means available it would also be advantageous to visit again on your own with the intentions of dating her more exclusively. Once you decide that you want to start filling out the K-1 Visa you should keep a couple things into consideration. First it takes about six to seven months to process a Fiancée Visa. Secondly, immigration laws will require that you have proof that you and your future wife have spent time together in her country. Make sure to take plenty of pictures of you two together while you’re over there if you have good chemistry. While the paperwork is being processed there will be a few things that your fiancée will need to pay for on her end. She will need to do a physical exam and also an interview with the US Embassy in her country. It would be a wise decision for you to cover these costs for her but NEVER SEND MONEY TO SOMEONE YOU HAVEN’T MET! Like I said previously you have to prove you have been with her so if a woman you have corresponded with says that she needs you to help her with the cost of obtaining a visa and you haven’t met her in person DON’T SEND HER MONEY. She is certainly a scammer. It is extremely difficult for someone from a different country to get a normal visa to the US and because of this the chances of the woman lying to you are so great it’s just not worth the risk.
7.While you wait, keep your relationship alive: If you have ever been involved in a long term relationship then I’m sure you already know that it can be very hard work. It is important during the K-1 Visa process that you keep your relationship alive with your future bride. Try buying her a cell phone with a good international plan so that you can talk on the phone. Try and send her an email or text message at least once a day. Make sure that if you have a scheduled time to talk with her on the phone you don’t miss it. Most International Marriage Agencies also provide online English classes that you can purchase for your bride to be. A big way you will be able to tell if she is right for you will be her willingness to learn your language. You might also want to start taking initiative in learning her language as well. All of these things are key in keeping your relationship with your foreign bride alive.
8.Go get her: While some men have not done this and still been successful it is in my personal experience it is very advantageous for you to go to your fiancée’s country and escort her to the US. You have to remember that this is going to be one of the biggest decisions of her life. Picking her up and escorting her back to the US not only shows some initiative on your own part but it also provides her the support she will need to make this courageous leap for you. Remember that she is leaving behind everything that she knows and she might give you a mixture of emotions that should not be misconstrued. Mainly she will feel excited, nervous, and overwhelmed. Make sure to be receptive to her feelings and do what you can to be by her side no matter what.
9.The 90-day trial period: Before you and your fiancée decide to completely tie the knot make sure that you have all of your bases covered. Keep in mind that you are her only source of support when she first arrives so you will want to make sure to be by her side every step of the way. Help her meet your family and also people you are friends with. Make sure when you introduce her to the people of importance in your life that you include her in your conversations and make her feel welcome. Ask her what she would like to make herself feel more comfortable and welcome, and try to make it happen for her. Include her in your life as much as possible for the first couple of months at least so that you can truly decide if marriage is the right option for you.
10.Tie the Knot: Make sure that when you pop the question you do it the right way. Be romantic and thoughtful. Tell her how much she means to you. If you follow these steps you will have a much better opportunity of finding success in this industry than you would doing it another way.
Most of the men on this site would recommend you keep an agency out of the equation and try and do it yourself. The decision is yours to make. Some things work differently for different people but honestly if you want someone to help you every step of the way an agency is the best option in my personal opinion. Make sure to do research. Most people on this website are very passionate about how they feel you should go about doing this. Keeping in mind there are many ways to go about this, get hard facts before you allow yourself to be swayed in any direction.
The purpose of this article is to allow those of you who are considering international dating to know all of the options that are available to you. If the idea of traveling with a group of men to meet a whole lot of women does not sound of interest to you for whatever reason keep in mind that most International Marriage Agencies also provide personal introduction services and utilizing an agencies services eliminates not only the guesswork but also the trial by error that you most likely will be faced with in doing this on your own.
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GregD
Newbie
Posts: 5
Registered: 11-02-2010 Location:
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posted on 11-23-2010 at 10:59 |
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good post international dating and brides
Yeah I like that post. The key for guys to understand is that all they have to do is put time into researching the right place to go and the right company to use.
I hear of guys who want to figure out all the travel arrangements themselves and pay for everything separately so they can do the trip on their own, but it really doesn't make sense. It reminds me of building your own computer instead of buying one that is already made. It will take more work, more time, but you will end up with the same, if not a worse product in the end. The reason people build their own computers is because it costs them less, but in this case, building your own tour from scratch will actually end up costing you more most likely.
Stick with a group tour, but if you don't want men to go on the trip with you and you just want to interact with foreign women, use one of the agency's personal tour options.
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